What is the extraterrestrial marriage? How it all began

During all my life I have never been very keen on getting married. The whole concept of marriage seemed to be rather absurd to me. If two people love each other, they should do that, without some “formal” acknowledgement, be it church or state. So I thought.

Being practical on the other hand, I understood the legal benefits that come with being married, especially when children are effected. On the other hand: being a non-religious person, the whole church shebang always was and still is an alien to me. It took some years (and a study of theatre theory and cultural studies) for me to understand, that the affirmation of a mutual vow in front of a community – be it friends, family, church or whatever – in fact IS something special and it adds a new meaning to the union. Still I never thought that I would want that, or need that.

I thought that up until I met the person with whom, and to my surprise, it all felt right. I shall call her “the best girlfriend possible”. With the best girlfriend possible suddenly the idea of getting married seemed not only right, but something I really wanted. So the best grilfriend possbile became the best bride possible. Unfortunately to me (and her), she is a Brazilian citizen living in Brazil and I am a German citizen living in Germany and getting married turned out to be an administrative challenge. I am not talking about organizing a big style marriage, we never wanted to have an overly festive ceremony or invite hundreds of people for a giant party. And I do know that there are people earning their living as wedding planners, making the “big” day as unforgetful as possible – but that’s not our style. We just want to get married, have a party with our family and friends, nothing spectacular. But what seems easy to me, turned out to be not so easy after all. The challenge was to find out and understand the legal obligations and necessities for a German and a once-divorced Brazilian to get married. In our globalized world, I thought, this should not be so difficult. But as it turned out: I was wrong.

This is, what this (hopefully) short blog is about: the best bride possible and me trying to get married. I will collect some legal information, some administrative absurdities. With this information, I will not give any legal advice, I am in absolutely no position to do so and people who are, usually get paid very well for it. If you have questions about getting married, please contact your administration – same as we did. What this blog does is to give a brief summary of what we have to do, to make our (by now) dream of getting married come true, only for the purpose of documentation, maybe inspiration, most likely to overcome our own frustration.

Globalization means nothing – if you want to get married to a foreigner, prepare to spend some money and nerves on finding out how to. It’s like trying to get married to an extraterrestrial.